Last night

Last night, I had one of those flashback where you wished that at the moment, time would stop. I'm a human, definitely I will replay those memories with my ex. Those beautiful moments when the surrounding become invisible, all that matters at that exact moment is you and your love. I force myself that I will not be thinking of all those because I have to move on. It's been too long, you already left. I don't want to spent my growing up years feeling painful, lonely, desperate. But, I can't help it. Everyday before I sleep, I still think of you, how things will be better if I did otherwise. Or, what if I reply in a different manner. The situation will change right? For the better?
I do miss you more than ever, miss the times when you will text me all day, miss the day when I went to your house cause your parents were in Malaysia, just because we want to spent time together. I miss the times when we were up at the pagoda and we do not need to hide. I miss how our hands get wet after we hold for short while that I have to clean it. I miss those sudden hugs that become long hugs cause I do not want to let go, I miss those light pecks that make me blush. I miss how you will do your best to cheer me up when I'm down. I miss it when I'm the only one who know the problems that you can't just tell others including your closest friends. I miss how i was so special to you. I miss the feeling of being missed by you. I want to be wanted by you. I miss you. I miss everything that I did with you.
Is part of parcel of life anyway. To be loved. Break-up. Agony.
Whatever it is, is one-sided, is forbidden (not exactly)
Now that we never talk to each other, I want you to know that I will never love anyone liked how I loved you,and what you meant to me. First spots are reserved for special ones.